Friday, June 27, 2008

The Importance of Heartache - The Causes and Effects

heartache \ˈhärt-ˌāk\

n (1602): anguish of mind: SORROW
Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary p. 559



n: sorrow, anguish
The New American Roget's College Thesaurus p. 370




an emotional illness of the heart that can somewhat affect one's psychological balance (my own definition)




The most depressing moment one can possibly encounter is having a heartache. It can hurt you like you are undergoing a serious medical operation, being hit by lightning, and losing in a competition. And whether we admit it or not, having a heartache creates a big impact in each and everyone of us.




***




Here are just few of the reasons why a person experiences a heartache:
  1. Being dumped for another or just simply losing the feelings.
  2. When the person can't reciprocate one's love.
  3. Death of a loved one.




And whether one deserves it or not, it's inevitable. It's something that one cannot escape from in just a few minutes, even if it's decided to be ended.




***




And since it's inevitable, the effects of a heartache are contagious to every aspect of one's life. Relationsips with other people (e.g family, friends, colleagues) can be ruined. Sometimes, some people can't work properly at school or work. Then, it will lead one to self-pity or low self-esteem. Then from there, one's life would be a mess.




***




In some cases, one would try to escape through alcoholism, excessive partying, shifting the focus at work or career, or love on the rebound. In short, escape-mechanism.




***




Some take medications (or should I call it):

  1. Crying it all out until it's gone
  2. Writing songs or poems, or other art-involvement
  3. Confronting the person
  4. Seeking psychological or professional help




***




Whether in a positive or negative way, a heartache definitely molds one's character or personality. And in whatever way a heartache might mold one person , it will definitely turn one into a better person eventually.



***



So no matter how painful a heartache can be, one should not take it as if it's the end of the world. Learn the lessons and live the learnings. It's definitely normal to feel angry and sad, but don't let it stay in you. For sure, after a heartache, a bright tomorrow is right ahead - be it for your lovelife or career, or both.






Tuesday, June 24, 2008

A Link From a Friend

It's a girl/boy perspective. I don't know where she got it though. =]

http://ystal12twelve.multiply.com/journal/item/7

Monday, June 23, 2008

A Famous Quote From Regine-Aga Movie



One of my favorite Filipino movies...actually.



I have the VHS tape of this one. Sayang lang wala ng masyadong VHS players ngayon =[

Kung Bakit Kailangan Masaktan

Dahil Tanging Ikaw by Jaya


Bakit kailangan puso ay masaktan
Bago maintindihan ang siyang nararamdaman
At kahit iwasa’y naro’n sa damdamin
Yakap at mga halik ay nadarama pa rin


Dahil tanging ikaw ang siyang lahat
Nang mawalay ka nang minsa’y hindi ko matanggap
Kulang ang sandali pag ika’y wala
Sadyang kapag wala ka’y wala rin ang tuwa


Kung ang ‘yong puso’y may mahal nang iba
Di pa rin magbabago ang aking nadarama
Ako ay aasang magbabalik ka pa rin
Ang iyong pagmamahal at ang dating pagtingin


Dahil tanging ikaw ang siyang lahat
Nang mawalay ka nang minsa’y hindi ko matanggap
Kulang ang sandali pag ika’y wala
Sadyang kapag wala ka’y wala rin ang tuwa



Bakit kailangan puso ay masaktan
Bago maintindihan ang siyang nararamdaman
At kahit iwasa’y naro’n sa damdamin
Yakap at mga halik ay nadarama pa rin



Dahil tanging ikaw ang siyang lahat
Nang mawalay ka nang minsa’y hindi ko matanggap
Kulang ang sandali pag ika’y wala
Sadyang kapag wala ka’y wala rin ang tuwa




Bakit nga ba? Aside from the reason/s stated in the song, there are so many instances where one really gets hurt to realize that love.

"Mahal kita kahit ang sakit-sakit na!!!"


Ayan! One famous line from John Lloyd Cruz. Ano na ngang movie yun?


Sige, tama na ang pa-cute!


Here are some instances that love is getting in the way to hurt you:
  1. Jealousy. Nasasaktan ka 'pag ang minamahal mo ay nasa piling ng iba. Hindi ka mapakali and you get paranoid. Then, you get insecured. It's up to you what happens next.
  2. Reject. Ouchy huh? Getting rejected by the one you love can hurt like being shot by a gun. You expected at least somehow, that person will love you in return. But then again, he/she cannot.
  3. He/She is in love with someone else. Its similar with reject. Likewise, it can lead to jealousy. You've been wanting to be in a relationship and eventually end up with this person, only to find out that he/she cannot love you back because he/she is already in a company of a better half. Puedeng naunahan ka lang or it's not really meant to be.
  4. Death of a loved one/When the person left. You'd taken the person for granted while he/she was still alive and not realize his/her importance until he/she is gone. Sometimes, we don't value the person enough despite his/her love until he/she gets tired and leave you for someone or something better, that's the time we only realize what we lost.



Bakit kailangan na puso ay masaktan? Dahil doon lang natin naiintindihan ang totoong nararamdaman. Doon natin napagtatanto ang totoong sinisigaw ng ating mga puso. At doon tayo mas natututong magmahal.



Usually, we don't feel it when we're happy. We take it for granted. If things went wrong, that's the time when we realize the love.



Or maybe, we don't recognize it when it's there because of the fear of getting hurt. But eventually, it's going to get there and we have no choice.



"Wag 'kang matakot masaktan. Dahil doon mo makikita ang tunay mo'ng kaligayahan..."



'Yan ang sinabi ng tatay ni Cristina sa kanya bago siya namatay sa pelikula na Pangako... Ikaw Lang. 'Yan ang naging payo niya sa kanya nung nasasaktan na siya ng dahil kay Vince. (Btw, Pangako... Ikaw Lang starred Aga Muhlach as Vince, Regine Velasquez as Cristina, Robert Arevalo as Cristina's Dad, Bobby Andrews, and many more).



Masaktan? 'Di talaga maiiwasan 'yun! It's part of life. Anyway, wala naman talagang masama 'pag minsan o madalas nasasaktan tayo. It's how we face it. However, don't let it eat you, ok?



Don't be scared. =] It's temporary.



Believe me, you'll be a better person if you face it with courage.



Personal advice ko naman, pray =] It's gonna help for sure. Ayt?








Sunday, June 22, 2008

Just to Get Over Someone

I once asked my mom when I was in high school "bakit 'di mo makalimutan ang isang tao kahit gusto mo na siyang kalimutan?" She answered, "kasi 'di ka pa nakakahanap ng kapalit." A classmate from high school told me the same, "malilimutan mo lang siya pag nakahanap ka na ng iba". At first I believed them.

But sorry to say this (especially to my mom and that classmate from high school), and I guess most of you will agree with me that thinking of finding someone new just to get over someone IS TOTALLY WRONG!!! It's love on a rebound! IT'S A FOUL! Never mind if your being unfair to that someone you want to get over with or not. But don't you find it unfair to the one you are just using so you can get over the other one. Most of all, you are NOT being true to yourself.

So, what's the best thing to do? First, LET GO! Let go of your feelings. Let go of all the pains and hurt that have been holding you back. Let go of all you negative beliefs. Let go of that someone. Then, ACCEPT! Accept that it's not meant to be (maybe for the moment. We'll never know). Accept what happened. Accept that someone's shortcomings and yours as well. Accept changes. Lastly, MOVE ON! Don't take control of everything. Try to follow destiny and see where it is going to take you. Meet new friends and be open to all possibilities. Just don't settle right ahead.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

To Be Loved and To Be Safe

Figure it out. Can you possibly be loved and be safe at the same time? I don't really know if somebody has given a thought about it - whether if it's possible or not.


Do you really have to impose safety in a relationship? In what sense? Does security means safety? Well, I think I just have to break it all down randomly.


Financial Safety


True, magastos din ang love kahit papano. It sucks that the concept of love has been too commercial and overrated nowadays na tipong siya ang madalas na themes sa songs, tv series, and movies.


The courtship stage is also expensive. Of course, it's in this stage that you really give all your best until you hit the spot. Then after you hit the spot, it's either you continue the expense maintenance or trim it down. But at least you got it in the end.


But the most expensive of all is marriage - from the wedding to setting up your family. 'Nuff said I guess.


But can financial safety and love really combine? I don't think so. Money, as they say, can buy you happiness, but not love.


Marry for love and not money.


Emotional Security

Most of us thinks that to be secured, one has to be in a relationship. I guess it's to boost self-esteem. Perhaps it's also to be "in" with your peers.


When you reach your mid-20s and up, that's the time when most of us feel insecure of not yet being in a relationship. Tipong ano ba'ng mali? Pangit ba ako? Kulang ba ako sa ayos? O dapat ako na ang manligaw? Pathetic. Until we forget the true essence of being in a relationship - it's love.


Standards


We usually set standards for ideal partners (e.g. must be good-looking, smart, ambitious, etc.) Oh c'mon! How sure are you in the first place that you deserve someone like that?

Everybody deserves to be loved. It's just that not everybody deserves the love of everyone.

Because You're on the Same Wavelength or Exact Opposites

Maswerte ako ngayon na at least, may hawig sa ugali ko at interests ko ang mga guys na na-e-encounter ko ngayon. Natuto na rin akong matipuhan sila unti-unti. But still, it won't guarantee love in the end. It's just that, I can easily get along with them.

But usually, I always fall for my exact opposites. And it was never peaceful for me - it's always a mess. Some of them I truly loved, some of them were nang-gago lang.

Couples are actually different. There are somewhat of the same interests and character and some are exact opposites of each other. Have nothing against with them. But for me, personally, I decided to go for someone who's at least 85-90% same character with me. But still, love should exist.

It's Your Decision!!!

Madaming sulsol sa mundo at 'di maiiwasan yun. Nakakainis 'yun lalo na 'pag kapamilya mo ang sulsol. Minsan nadadala tayo - mabuti sana kung talagang mahal natin yung tao, pa'no kung hindi? Masisisi mo ba yung mga nagsulsol? P*cha hindi!

Why do you need to please people anyway when you're in love? Ikaw naman ang makikipag-relasyon 'di ba?

Love Vs. Obsession Vs. Lust

DON'T EVER MISTAKE LOVE FOR OBSESSION AND LUST. It's totally different.


In lust, you focus on the sexual aspect - it's more on the physical. While in love, you focus on the whole person - his beauty inside and out.

If you're obssessed, you want to be with the person the whole time. You take control of him/her. You won't let go of him no matter what it takes. In love, there's trust. You let go of the person when you have to, even if it hurts.


My bottomline: You can be loved and be safe at the same time. It's just that they don't mix.


Malinaw ba?

The Drama That Gave Birth to This Site

Sabi nila, minsan ka lang magmamahal ng tapat, kaya nga pag natagpuan mo na siya, hindi mo dapat ito pakawalan.

Kaya lang minsan, napagtatanto mo lang na mahal mo na ang isang tao kapag wala na siya sa paligid mo at mahirap na siyang matagpuan pa. Magkita man kayo muli, maaaring wala na siyang pagtingin sa'yo. Kung meron man, nanaig na sigurado sa kanya ang poot o ang sakit na dinulot mo sa kanya. Dahil dun, malamang wala ng pag-asa na magkamabutihan pa.
***
Sabi rin nila, kapag mahal mo ang isang tao palalayain mo siya. Kusa siyang babalik sa'yo kung kayo ang nakatadhana.
***
Minsan naghahanap tayo ng pag-ibig. Kakahanap ng kakahanap natin ay lalong hindi ito matagpuan. Kakahanap din natin ay nalalagpasan ito. May mga darating ngunit tayo'y lilinlangin lamang. May totoong magmamahal ngunit hindi natin matutunang mahalin. May darating, magmamahal at mamahalin natin, ngunit sa takot na masaktan muli, hindi natin ito tatanggapin
***
Hindi rin porket pinakitaan ka ng pagmamahal e yun na rin iyon. Malamang ito ay totoo o pagkukunwari lamang. Masakit mang isipin, hindi lahat nang ating nakikita, naririnig o nararamdaman ay totoo.
***
Takot akong magmahal. Takot akong masaktan. Ilan lang ito sa mga katotohanang hindi ko maikakaila. Pilit kong tinatakasan ang isang pagmamahal dahil ang akala ko ay makakalimutan ko rin ito. Ngunit mali ako. Minsan nang naisip na maaaring siya na nga. Pero ang gulo! Malamang marahil, isa lamang siya sa mga nakatadhanang magbigay ng kulay sa buhay ko, hindi ang nakatadhana.
***
Sana nga, sana nga... ano man ang aking kapalaran, maging maligaya ako dahil maraming beses na akong nagmahal at minahal, ngunit maraming beses nang nasaktan... At kung masasaktan lang muli, mabuting hindi na lang...